The People News, a free newspaper serving Cleveland Tennessee (TN) and Bradley County Tennessee (Tn).





Of Bradley County Tn.


MAY  2005

                            The People News, a free newspaper serving Cleveland and Bradley County Tn.

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Things You Didn't Know
That You Didn't Know

All the jokes and funny stories in this section were sent to The People News by our readers. If you come across a "funny" or something you feel may be suitable, please e-mail to ThePeopleNews@aol.com and we will try to include it in an upcoming issue

Reflections of Great Minds on Government
 
I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
.........Winston Churchill

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with their money.
.........G.  Gordon Liddy

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
.........James Bovard, Civil Libertarian  (1994)

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
.......Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
........P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian

Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
........Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases:  If it moves, tax it.  If it keeps moving, regulate it.  And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
.........Ronald Reagan  (1986)

I don't make jokes.  I just watch the government and report the facts.
.........Will Rogers

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. .........P.J. O'Rourke

If you want government to intervene domestically, you're a liberal.  If you want government to intervene overseas, you're a conservative.  If you want government to intervene everywhere, you're a moderate.  If you don't want government to intervene anywhere, you're an extremist.
......Joseph Sobran, Former Editor of the National Review  (1995)

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you.
.........Pericles (430 B.C.)

Talk is cheap - except when Congress does it.
......Unknown

The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
........Ronald Reagan

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings.  The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
.........Winston Churchill

The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. .........Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)
What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. .......Edward Langley, Artist (1928 - 1995)

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
........Thomas Jefferson, Founding Father and American Revolutionary.

Proud to be a redneck

You might be a redneck if:
It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, "One nation, under God".
You might be a redneck if:
You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.
You might be a redneck if:
You still say "Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival".
You might be a redneck if:
You bow your head when someone prays.
You might be a redneck if:
You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.
You might be a redneck if:
You treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have.
You might be a redneck if:
You've never burned an American flag.
You might be a redneck if:
You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
You might be a redneck if:
You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.
You might be a redneck if:
You'd give your last dollar to a friend.

A Stranger in Town

A few months before I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small Tennessee town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with  this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around to welcome me into the world
a few months later.
As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me the word of God, and Dad taught me to obey it. But the stranger? He was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies.
If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and  even seemed able to predict the future!  He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.
Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to her room and read her books. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.) Dad ruled our household with certain moral  convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them.
Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home... not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our long-time visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush.
My Dad was a teetotaler who didn't permit alcohol in the home, not even for cooking. But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (much too freely!) about sex.
His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and  generally embarrassing. I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked... and never asked to leave.
More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you were to walk into my parent's den today you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures. His name?... We just call him TV.
.

The jokes on this page were sent to The People News by our readers.

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