The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn most of the forest, killing almost everything in it, including the rabbit and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay, okay, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit."
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window... turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!... the blonde yelled back," IT'S A SCARF!"
Another blonde joke.
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic that it "died." After he works on it for a few minutes, it's idling smoothly.
She says," Well.. What's the story?"
He replies, "Ahh, Just c**p in the carburetor."
She asks," How often do I have to do THAT?"