The Three Little Pigs
This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is. They think so logically.
A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read ..."and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?"
The teacher paused then asked the class: "And what do you think the man said?"
One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly ..."I think the man would have said - "Holy Crap!! A talking pig!"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
Question: Why don't blind people skydive?
Answer: Because it scares the heck out of the dog!
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude the Captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to flight number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... Oh, My God!"
Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"
Eye halve a spelling chequer, it came with my pea sea. It plainly marques four my revue, miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word, and weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write. It shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid it nose bee fore two long. And eye can put the error rite. Its rarely ever wrong. Eye have run this poem threw it. I am shore your pleased two no it's letter perfect in its weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
3 Dogs In A Bar
A Doberman, a Collie and a Chihuahua were sitting at a bar. A Poodle comes up to the bar and says:
"Whoever can use liver and cheese in a sentence I will marry!
The Doberman thinking he had a chance he says,
"I like liver and cheese!" The Poodle was not impressed. "
Oh please said the poodle you have to be able to do better than that!"
The Collie also thinking he had a chance, says, "I hate liver and cheese!"
The Poodle sighed and said: "That was original!"
So the smart-alec Chihuahua pipes up, "I can beat both of those sentences." The Poodle says: "O.k. give it your best shot." So the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone cheese mine!"