1. "Computers, in the future, may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." -- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949.
2. "I think there is a world market for, maybe, five computers." -- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.
3. "I have traveled the length and breadth of this country, and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." -- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957.
4. "But what .. is it good for?" -- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.
5. "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." -- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp.,1977.
6. "This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is, inherently, of no value." -- Western Union internal memo, 1876.
7. "The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" -- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.
8. "The concept is interesting and well-formed. But, in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible." -- A Yale Univ. management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)
9. "Who wants to hear actors talk?" -- H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927
10. "I'm just glad it will be Clark Gable who is falling on his face and not Gary Cooper." -- Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind".
11. "A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make." Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.
12. "We don't like their sound and guitar music is on the way out." -- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962
13. "You want to have consistent and uniform muscle development across all of your muscles? It can't be done. It's just a fact of life. You just have to accept inconsistent muscle development as an unalterable condition of weight training." -- Response to Arthur Jones, who solved the "unsolvable" problem by inventing Nautilus.
14. "Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau." -- Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929.
15." Airplanes are interesting toys, but of no military value." -- Marecha Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.
16. "Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction." -- Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872.
17. "The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon." -- Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria, 1873.
18. "64K ought to be enough memory for anybody." -- Bill Gates, 1981.
A cabbie picks up a nun. The cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring, he replies,"I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you." She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. There's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2 you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!" "OK" the nun says, "Pull into the next alley" He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cabdriver starts crying. "My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?" "Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party.
These quotes were taken from actual performance evaluations
*1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
*2. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."
*3. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
*4. "This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be."
*5. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
*6. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."
*7. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
*8. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
*9. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
*10. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."