The People News, a free newspaper serving Cleveland Tennessee (TN) and Bradley County Tennessee (Tn).





Of Bradley County Tn.


FEBRUARY  2010

                            The People News, a free newspaper serving Cleveland and Bradley County Tn.

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Things You Didn't Know
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Top 10 reasons men prefer guns over women

#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you are on the road.
#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
#7. Your primary gun does not mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
#5. A gun does not take up a lot of closet space.
#4. Guns function normally every day of the month.
#3. A gun does not ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
#2. A gun does not mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman...
#1. You can buy a silencer for a gun.

A Riddle for You

Riddle: This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!

Answer:
The letter e, which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.

Croak Like a Frog

A little boy and his grandfather were at the playground one afternoon. While playing on the swing, the little boy asked his grandfather, "Grandpa, do you know how to make a sound like a frog does?" His grandpa replied, "Yes." The little boy then asked, "Do you think you can make that sound right now?" His grandpa asked, "Why do you want me to make a sound like a frog?" The little boy answered, "Because grandma said when you croak, we're going to Disney World."

Old Friends

Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb had been friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb visited her every day. One day Barb said, "Rose, we both loved playing women's softball all our lives, and we played all through high school. Please do me one favor. When you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's women's softball there."

Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed and said, "Barb, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you." Shortly after that, Rose passed on. A few nights later, Barb awoke from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, "Barb, Barb." "Who is it," asked Barb, sitting up suddenly. "Barb, it's me, Rose." "You're not Rose. Rose just died.'" "I'm telling you, it's me, Rose," insisted the voice. "Rose! Where are you?" "In Heaven," replied Rose. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."

"Tell me the good news first," said Barb. "The good news," Rose said, "is that there's softball in Heaven. Better yet all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all we want, and we never get tired." "That's fantastic," said Barb. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?"

"You're pitching Tuesday."


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The jokes on this page were sent to The People News by our readers.

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