Dress Code Problem Solved
Letter To The Editor:
Eureka! I've solved the school uniform and dress code issue! Now, I pondered this long and hard. I took into consideration the concerns of educators - the uniform must be conductive to learning, inspire the student to achieve, and maintain discipline,. I considered the issues of parents - the uniform should be durable, available, and reasonably priced when compared to the desired educational result. I even took into consideration social issues of the student - it should look "sick" and my girlfriend/boyfriend should look really "hot" in it.
At first I thought; well, just send everyone to school naked and give the teachers a German shepherd for each classroom. Heck, that seemed to inspire discipline and the transfer of knowledge at certain Iraqi Prisons. But then I thought, who would take doggy for a pooh between classes?
So, I was back to square one. Military uniforms? Cammo? Well, they may inspire discipline but there is a chance for an outburst of violence in the classroom. Someone may invade another students "space" claiming WMD - Weapons of Mass Distraction or concealing an IED Improvised Educational Device. I needed a better idea. Then I remembered that brown shirts with identifying armbands had a rough go of it in the last century too.
Century!? Century!! That's it! Think forward! Think future! And there, citizens, parents, teachers and students, there is the answer! Star Trek's Star Fleet uniforms! No other uniform in the world is as recognizable as the uniforms of Star Fleet! No other uniform represents tolerance, peacekeeping, ethnic diversity, understanding, kindness, and the thirsty nature of man for knowledge! A student may even feel the desire to boldly go where no student has gone before! Like, the library! For fun!
Consider what these uniforms have inspired since 1967! Want a communicator? Now we have flip top cell phones! How about the wireless earpiece of the Communications Officer and Science Officer? Can you say Bluetooth ear-bud?! How about those Medical Diagnostic tables in the sickbay of every starship? We've got MRI scans and ultra sound! Tricorders? PDA? Even your Blackberry!
The list of conveniences we enjoy as a result of the inspiration of those in the Star Fleet uniform goes right to the voice in your GPS telling you what turn to take, or your computer and "communicator" taking your voice commands. It's all Trek, and all inspired by what those Star Fleet uniforms represent. Talk about prosperity, equality, educational opportunity, discipline, the quest for knowledge and inspiration! Wearing the Star Fleet uniform would no doubt improve the quality of education, reduce the dropout rate, improve the graduation rate, and improve teacher performance in all our schools!
So now the issue is solved. A uniformed dress code has been presented that meets everyone's expectations, and to insure that every girl looks really "hot" I would suggest the uniforms of the Original Series. Nothing would inspire the boys to learn better than those low-cut-collar, ultra mini skirt outfits with cute matching bottoms and knee-high spiked heel boots on the girls. Of course, the girls may enjoy the "eye candy" of tight fitting black pants on the men. Forty years later, I still hear young women talk about Kirk's "cute butt" when they see him in re-runs.
Live Long and Prosper!
Don Bindrim, Cleveland.