Just watched a show on Canadian TV. There was a black comedian who said he misses Bill Clinton.
"Yep, that's right - I miss Bill Clinton! He was the closest thing we ever got to having a black man as President.
Number 1- He played the sax.
Number 2- He smoked weed.
Number 3-He had his way with ugly white women.
Even now? Look at him... his wife works, and he don't! And, he gets a check from the government every month.
Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America's shelves this week with "Clinton Soup," in honor of one of the nations' most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water.
Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be in production in Canada this year.
When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, "I don't know, I never had one."
American Indians nicknamed Bill Clinton "Walking Eagle" because he is so full of c**p he can't fly.
Clinton lacked only three things to become one of America's finest leaders: integrity, vision, wisdom.
Clinton was doing the work of three men: Larry, Curly and Moe.
The Clinton revised judicial oath: "I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know."
Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do Hanky Panky between Bushes.
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs .
She asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and the other was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like THAT?"
"HellOOOooo" . . . . . answered the blonde . . . "They're WATCH dogs!"
10 Things You Should Not Say To A Cop
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you that guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are you Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
In a nutshell
"Islam is a religion in which Allah requires you to send your son to die for him. Christianity is a faith in which God sent His son to die for you."
- Attorney General John Ashcroft